September 14, 2006

Hearing Aid

Pedro: Hey man, I was finally able to buy a hearing aid! Now I can hear you loud and clear.Juan: O yeah! How much did you buy it for?Pedro: Oh just yesterday. (O yeah it really works!)...

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Last Will

Husband: If I don't survive the operation tomorrow, please take care of our children. I love you... Wife: Will you stop it! No one has ever died of circumcision yet!...

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September 08, 2006

Sunday Morning Sex

Hearing church bells ringing will never be the same again...Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,  Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.  When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday Morning,"Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble."Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm.  Nice and slow and even... Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the...

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September 07, 2006

TNT

Dan Torres from Bicol, TNT sa America...Grocery Cashier: Visa or Master?Dan: (kinabahan) Hanap Visa ko!(Nagmadali sumakay sa kotse, but he needs gas)Gasoline Boy: Pay first..Dan (nerbyos na nerbyos) Patay! Papers daw... (runs to the booth to call home)Operator: AT&T, can I help you?Dan: (namutla): Alam na TNT ako!!(Labas sya ng booth)Kano: Are you done?Dan(pawisan): Alam nila name ko?!Kano: Tourist?Dan: Apelyido rin?!Kano: Be cool!Dan: Pati Probinsya ko?!(Hinimatay si Dan)...

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September 06, 2006

Eavesdropping

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following :"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time ."The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives. "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'."...

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